Top ten random thoughts:
Listening to: Spaceship by Angie Aparo (from back in the day when VH1 played music) video here
Last week I worked every single day, plus attended my night classes. To say the least; I’m VERY tired. I’m a bit old (twenty-eight) to have school enemies and all that middle school drama, but I do. This childish attitude of mine caused me to change professors already and completely mess up my nicely tight schedule. I’ve already been assigned tons of homework and a not-so-fabulous group project. A root canal sounds more appealing….but I couldn’t sit with her, evil bitch rejected from you know where, in the same room.
I went to a child’s birthday celebration and it was the best fun I’ve had in a while. Everything was so nice and innocent; it was eerie. Everything was so… pink! I held a baby and it was like making one of my dreams come alive. Realistically I know that I can’t afford to have one, both, due to time and money. (The same reasons I don’t have a pet.) BTW: What kind of sadists serves cauliflower and Brussels sprouts at a child’s party? My friend does- and did!
I’ve been to church because it was a promise I made. I’ve had very stressful times lately and I found comfort in having a priest give me a blessing, as well as getting on my knees and pray, and believe that my prayers can be heard and may be answered. I was an atheist/agnostic for many years, but I couldn’t completely shake-off some beliefs out of me. Like a Catholic I’ve been praying to my saint,
#9 doesn’t need any further explanation.
# 10 I’ve smoked and been able to quit cold turkey. I’ve even given up chocolate without going postal. (I’ve lost 5 lbs) I’ve gotten rid off toxic relationships, stopped retail therapy, haven’t had cable tv in years, and I have survived without indulging in any naps. But there’s one thing I can’t seem to live without: The internet. I think was going to have convulsions and a nervous breakdown when I didn’t have inet for 24 hours.
This is what you should do:
Love the earth and sun and animals,
despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks,
stand up for the stupid and crazy,
devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants,
argue not concerning God,
have patience and indulgence toward the people...
reexamine all you have been told in school or church or in any book,
dismiss what insults your very soul,
and your flesh shall become a great poem.
~ Walt Whitman ~
Mrs. Dunn was a character. Her classroom shared her flamboyant personality as well. She taught English in an inner city school that I attended back in the 90’s. There was a lot of chaos in that school, the room and in my teenage mind. I don’t want to remember much from that era, except that I still cherish 2 of her lessons.
My mom, a teacher, had spoken of Whitman and Thoreau with fondness, but to me it sounded like bla, bla, bla. It wasn’t until I experienced their words on my own that I understood what my mom was trying to say. Mrs. Dunn demanded critical thinking in her class, which became a character of mine. I do tend to over-think and analyze certain things, if not most, but I can’t imagine life in any other way. I must go beyond the spoken and written words and find its true meaning, and not just settle for an interpretation or perception.
On the day after watching Dead Poets Society the class full of teenage rebels, thugs, valley girls, nerds, geeks, punks, and over-medicated children surprised her by standing on our desks and reciting “Oh! Captain My Captain.” I don’t think we spoke all the words because she was quickly moved to happy tears. (I don’t think we memorized the whole thing either) Her eyes beamed with pride- just as bright as the multi-colored lights on the plastic white Christmas tree that she kept up all thru the year. I don’t know what was more distracting, her bright copper colored hair? Perhaps her
Mrs. Dunn criticized and encouraged at the same time. She was always fair and open to suggestions. She cared about each and every single one of us as if we were hers, and if not, she sure knew how to pretend! That is something that I do myself. I care for other people’s children as if they were my own, and in some rare occasions I do pretend. (in all honesty) I too have been moved to happy tears by some of my students, and know exactly what Mrs. Dunn experienced on that day, minus the Xmas tree.
I must say, that when I come home and get on the phone and the person on the other line wants to talk to me about school and education I quickly change the topic to politics. Here’s a music video you might “enjoy” about Teaching to the Test . We were surprised to hear that it’s very likely that we’re moving to 16 standardized tests per year! (sobbing)
I do miss the days of no parent emails, no texting during class, no cell phones, no state-mandated-testing, of having art and music, and yes, even class time to write freely in our journals....and thinking critically. (And to think that I’m just the assistant.) I think life was simpler when I was part of the teenage rebellion…
(((hugs)))
I know exactly what you were thinking! What took her so long before changing her template. Well, I’m a big fan of change and also a huge fan of Van Gogh, so there you go!
Two questions:
What happened to Motime this past weekend?
Where have all the old Motimers gone? It seems that there are a lot of new faces and the rest have vanished. Hmm…
Now I must go figure out what to wear tomorrow for my first day backt to work/school. I think the t-shirts that read “Disgruntled Employee of the Month”, “The boss likes me best” and “I see stupid people everywhere” are out of the question.
Tomorrow is going to pretty much be like this “If you’re team is awesome and you know it, clap your hands." Oh well.
Happy work week, y’all
“If music be the food of love, play on…” Shakespeare
Music is therapeutic to me. Currently listening to Robert Plant “Big Log” and feeling quite relaxed. (This is one of my all time favorite songs)This week is almost over and that is worthy of a celebration. But this also means that on Monday I go back to work at a high school.
Yep, I’ll be going back to the place where everything is perfectly imperfect. For a week I’ll be going to workshops and training, and doing the hockey pokey in “team-building” activities. Ha-ha!! My job revolves around being an assistant spending my days fighting the evil spirits that come in the form of paper cuts and mountains of paperwork that no one ever reads. I don’t know why I need any further training, but it pays the bills…sort off. Also in 10 days I’ll be back to my college classes. My agenda is quite full, but I can’t imagine it in any other way. On top of it all I’ll be keeping my part-time job for a bit longer b/c just by working 2 days per month I’ll pay for the gas of my car for the entire month. I wish I knew how to quit them. Actually, I did quit but they made me an offer that I couldn’t refuse.
I appreciate the very lovely comments and emails offering support. The Motime people are awesome! Motime is a great community and I’m glad I’m part of it. Thank you!!! So far I’m okay with the docs visits. I’ll be medicated for 2 more weeks and we’ll what happens regarding the kidney issue. I need the results of 2 more tests back and we’ll take it from there. The meds cause me t0 have very high bp and that is a very unpleasant side effect, especially when the temps are hovering around 100°F. But what matters is that I’m okay for now and there are no signs of any real complications. (sigh of relief)
Friend D has left me in charge of his furry child, a super adorable long hair
I can tell you that I haven’t been watching the Olympics, and don’t plan to either. Okay, I’ll refrain from my politics at this time. However, I’ve been watching the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. The show rocks! Craig is an awesome Scotsman who is truly a class act. Okay, his humor is not for everybody, but he has made me laugh every night and that counts for something. So if you’re ever find yourself with an insomnia attack, watch his show. The youtube clips are good as well.
And speaking of ROTFLMAO moments: According to a very urgent email I've won one billion dollars in the British lottery. I'm sure that in order to claim it I have to send a transaction fee to someone in Nigeria. LOL.
I can’t believe that is way passed 2 am already. My bed needs me.
Ciao!
At times my mind drifts away to those corners I don’t dare to speak of. The alcove where the “what could’ve, would’ve and should’ve, but didn’t” reside is a place I consciously decide to not dwell in. I’ve been friends with D. for more than 5 years and we’ve gotten to know each other very well. We are so close, that I’m his emergency contact. D. is almost old enough to be my father…a gay father. Last week he found out that he has curable cancer. This week I found that I have issues with my kidneys and the female plumbing. We are both going to have procedures done this coming week and we are scared as hell. Today we decided to relax and enjoy Mamma Mia- 2nd time for me.
I’ve wondered about how having the support of my biological father in such stressful times could (have) helped me, even when I’ve seen worst. I know who he is, where he lives, the same facts he knows about me. He made an adult choice to not have a relationship with me. Honestly, I tell people that my father died when I was little, that way I avoid speaking of the topic. Today I wondered what would’ve been like to have D. as a father. I think it’s a thought he has had as well. I can tell by the way he congratulates me when I’ve accomplished something, or has comforted me in difficult times. And yes, he annoys me at times, in the same exact ways my mother does. Today D. cheered me up by doing the “fork in the garbage disposal dance” which I would post a video here, but I don’t feel comfortable doing so with the one I found. But believe me, it made me crack up.
The movie was exactly what I needed. I fell in love with it the first time I saw it 2 weeks ago. We went to one of those movie grill places. I had an overly priced veggie burger with sweet potato fries in close to darkness, and freezing! I was really in the mood for Greek, but my budget won’t allow it for a while. This experience was better- people clapped, sang and cheered along with the movie! It was 104° outside, so there wasn't a better place to be. Most importantly, good friends really make a difference. These are the people we keep in our lives by choice.
I’ve been saving money for a while for a trip to
Life is not about the cards we are dealt, but it’s how we play them.
Until we meet again.
my prof shared this video with me/the class sometime ago. the people who have met the blue screen of death will appreciate it. http://www.backuptrauma.com/video/default2.aspx enjoy!
I’ve been having a reasonably easy time until today. Yesterday I had an amazing time with a close friend, S. She took me out for my bday (actual date being withheld), watched and LOVED Mamma Mia. Okay, some of the actors sing off key, it was a great time regardless. The waiters at the restaurant sang a birthday song in Italian just for me! I even sipped some
Less than 24 hours later I find myself sitting at a doc’s office. I’ve been dealing with some stressful situations for some time, and they have affected me physically. However, I’m also aware that all that is “wrong” with me is not being caused by my stressed-to-the –max life. So now, a few days before my “big day” I will also have a bigger day that includes an ultrasound of my uterus. That is a sentence I never thought I would ever write.
I’m trying to not think about this matter b/c there’s no reason to worry about something that might be nothing, but I can’t. This reminds me, as a single woman w/o any romantic prospects at the current time, that my biological clock has an expiration date. Enough of these thoughts!
Friend K emailed me this list of the
Sometimes the most important things are so obvious that we don’t see them.
All together now, say ahh!!!!!!!!!
I though of just sharing my favorite news article I read today- enjoy! I hope you can see the pictures, if not, the link is here
As a result, the trio, born two weeks ago at a German zoo, are being bottlefed by their keepers.
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We'll be all white, won't we? The three rare white lion cubs will be raised by keepers
A fourth white sibling didn't live long enough to join the family.
White lions are regarded as a rarity in the wild. In captivity, however, it seems a different story.
In fact three white cubs were born to another lioness at the zoo in Schloss Holte-Stukenbrock, south-west of Hamburg, at exactly the same time.
She however, was happy to raise her litter herself.
Three white lion cubs are fed with baby bottles in a wildlife zoo in Holte-Stukenbrock, Germany
The cubs take a much-needed rest after lunch
Fortunately these two-week-old white lion cubs are in good hands with the zoo keepers adopting the maternal role.
In captivity, both male and female lions, who are unusually social compared to other cats, can live for over 20 years.
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No sibling rivalry here: The three lions cubs hang out together
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Meeting the media can be hard work: One of the cubs has a yawn
The German public has a soft spot for orphaned animals. Knut, the first polar bear born in Berlin Zoo for 30 years, became a national celebrity after his mother rejected him.
Life, however, hasn't been easy for the bear who attracts at least 200 visitors a day.
He is said to have become addicted to human attention.
Will these lion cubs enjoy the same level of fame as Germany's most famous animal, Knut?
'Knut is a problem bear who has become addicted to human beings,' German animal rights activist Frank Albrecht said.
The polar bear attracts an almost permanent 200-strong crowd every day.
Albrecht argues that these animals born in zoos become so dependent on man they end up divorced from nature.
The German zoologist Peter Arras has even gone so far as to describe Knut as a 'psychopath'.
Let's hope the future's rosier for these cubs.
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Zoos are cooperating worldwide in breeding programs for the endangered Asiatic subspecies
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One of the white lion cubs gets a little sleepy
All’s well that just ends…
I can’t worry too much about the unknown, the future, my bills, my sanity, etc. I know that life will be here one day at a time and it’s not fair for me to over-indulge with those thoughts. Worry-full days are over. (for now)
Can you say stay-cation?
I (still) feel good and gorgeous. I’m going to enjoy these lovely flowers in my mom’s yard and let myself be kissed by the sun. by looking at my legs you can see what 10 months of hibernation does to me.
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