*** from Karmaville ***

Wednesday, 20 August 2008

nostalgia from a reformed teenaged rebel

This is what you should do:
Love the earth and sun and animals,
despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks,
stand up for the stupid and crazy,
devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants,
argue not concerning God,
have patience and indulgence toward the people...
reexamine all you have been told in school or church or in any book,
dismiss what insults your very soul,
and your flesh shall become a great poem.

 

~ Walt Whitman ~

 

 

Mrs. Dunn was a character.  Her classroom shared her flamboyant personality as well.  She taught English in an inner city school that I attended back in the 90’s.  There was a lot of chaos in that school, the room and in my teenage mind.  I don’t want to remember much from that era, except that I still cherish 2 of her lessons. 

 

My mom, a teacher, had spoken of Whitman and Thoreau with fondness, but to me it sounded like bla, bla, bla.  It wasn’t until I experienced their words on my own that I understood what my mom was trying to say.  Mrs. Dunn demanded critical thinking in her class, which became a  character of mine.  I do tend to over-think and analyze certain things, if not most, but I can’t imagine life in any other way.  I must go beyond the spoken and written words and find its true meaning, and not just settle for an interpretation or perception.    

 

On the day after watching Dead Poets Society the class full of teenage rebels, thugs, valley girls, nerds, geeks, punks, and over-medicated children surprised her by standing on our desks and reciting “Oh! Captain My Captain.”  I don’t think we spoke all the words because she was quickly moved to happy tears.  (I don’t think we memorized the whole thing either) Her eyes beamed with pride- just as bright as the multi-colored lights on the plastic white Christmas tree that she kept up all thru the year.  I don’t know what was more distracting, her bright copper colored hair?  Perhaps her Boston accent?  The tree?

 

Mrs. Dunn criticized and encouraged at the same time.  She was always fair and open to suggestions.  She cared about each and every single one of us as if we were hers, and if not, she sure knew how to pretend!  That is something that I do myself.  I care for other people’s children as if they were my own, and in some rare occasions I do pretend.  (in all honesty)  I too have been moved to happy tears by some of my students, and know exactly what Mrs. Dunn experienced on that day, minus the Xmas tree.

 

I must say, that when I come home and get on the phone and the person on the other line wants to talk to me about school and education I quickly change the topic to politics.   Here’s a music video you might “enjoy” about Teaching to the Test .  We were surprised to hear that it’s very likely that we’re moving to 16 standardized tests per year!  (sobbing)

 

I do miss the days of no parent emails, no texting during class, no cell phones, no state-mandated-testing, of having art and music, and yes, even class time to write freely in our journals....and thinking critically.  (And to think that I’m just the assistant.)  I think life was simpler when I was part of the teenage rebellion…

(((hugs)))

posted by Amberley at August 20, 2008 01:51 | link | comments (1)


Monday, 18 August 2008

Monday blues

I know exactly what you were thinking!  What took her so long before changing her template.  Well, I’m a big fan of change and also a huge fan of Van Gogh, so there you go!

 

Two questions:

What happened to Motime this past weekend?

Where have all the old Motimers gone?  It seems that there are a lot of new faces and the rest have vanished.  Hmm…

 

Now I must go figure out what to wear tomorrow for my first day backt to work/school.  I think the t-shirts that read “Disgruntled Employee of the Month”, “The boss likes me best” and “I see stupid people everywhere” are out of the question.  

 

Tomorrow is going to pretty much be like this “If you’re team is awesome and you know it, clap your hands."  Oh well.

 

Happy work week, y’all

 

posted by Amberley at August 18, 2008 02:24 | link | comments (6)


Thursday, 14 August 2008

unedited thoughts

“If music be the food of love, play on…”  Shakespeare

Music is therapeutic to me.  Currently listening to Robert Plant “Big Log” and feeling quite relaxed.  (This is one of my all time favorite songs)This week is almost over and that is worthy of a celebration.  But this also means that on Monday I go back to work at a high school. 

 

Yep, I’ll be going back to the place where everything is perfectly imperfect.  For a week I’ll be going to workshops and training, and doing the hockey pokey in “team-building” activities.  Ha-ha!!  My job revolves around being an assistant spending my days fighting the evil spirits that come in the form of paper cuts and mountains of paperwork that no one ever reads.  I don’t know why I need any further training, but it pays the bills…sort off.  Also in 10 days I’ll be back to my college classes.  My agenda is quite full, but I can’t imagine it in any other way.  On top of it all I’ll be keeping my part-time job for a bit longer b/c just by working 2 days per month I’ll pay for the gas of my car for the entire month.  I wish I knew how to quit them.  Actually, I did quit but they made me an offer that I couldn’t refuse.  

 

I appreciate the very lovely comments and emails offering support.  The Motime people are awesome!  Motime is a great community and I’m glad I’m part of it.  Thank you!!!  So far I’m okay with the docs visits.  I’ll be medicated for 2 more weeks and we’ll what happens regarding the kidney issue.  I need the results of 2 more tests back and we’ll take it from there.  The meds cause me t0 have very high bp and that is a very unpleasant side effect, especially when the temps are hovering around 100°F.  But what matters is that I’m okay for now and there are no signs of any real complications.  (sigh of relief)

 

Friend D has left me in charge of his furry child, a super adorable long hair Chihuahua.  He has a lot of people praying for him and everything should go well with his 2nd surgery later on this morning.  

 

I can tell you that I haven’t been watching the Olympics, and don’t plan to either.  Okay, I’ll refrain from my politics at this time.  However, I’ve been watching the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.  The show rocks! Craig is an awesome Scotsman who is truly a class act.  Okay, his humor is not for everybody, but he has made me laugh every night and that counts for something.  So if you’re ever find yourself with an insomnia attack, watch his show.  The youtube clips are good as well. 

And speaking of ROTFLMAO moments:  According to a very urgent email I've won one billion dollars in the British lottery.  I'm sure that in order to claim it I have to send a transaction fee to someone in Nigeria.  LOL. 

I can’t believe that is way passed 2 am already.  My bed needs me. 

Ciao!

posted by Amberley at August 14, 2008 05:48 | link | comments (3)


Sunday, 10 August 2008

About life and choices

At times my mind drifts away to those corners I don’t dare to speak of.  The alcove where the “what could’ve, would’ve and should’ve, but didn’t” reside is a place I consciously decide to not dwell in.   I’ve been friends with D. for more than 5 years and we’ve gotten to know each other very well.  We are so close, that I’m his emergency contact.  D. is almost old enough to be my father…a gay father.  Last week he found out that he has curable cancer.  This week I found that I have issues with my kidneys and the female plumbing.  We are both going to have procedures done this coming week and we are scared as hell.  Today we decided to relax and enjoy Mamma Mia- 2nd time for me. 

 

I’ve wondered about how having the support of my biological father in such stressful times could (have) helped me, even when I’ve seen worst.  I know who he is, where he lives, the same facts he knows about me.  He made an adult choice to not have a relationship with me.  Honestly, I tell people that my father died when I was little, that way I avoid speaking of the topic.  Today I wondered what would’ve been like to have D. as a father.  I think it’s a thought he has had as well.  I can tell by the way he congratulates me when I’ve accomplished something, or has comforted me in difficult times. And yes, he annoys me at times, in the same exact ways my mother does.  Today D. cheered me up by doing the “fork in the garbage disposal dance” which I would post a video here, but I don’t feel comfortable doing so with the one I found.  But believe me, it made me crack up. 

 

The movie was exactly what I needed.  I fell in love with it the first time I saw it 2 weeks ago.  We went to one of those movie grill places.  I had an overly priced veggie burger with sweet potato fries in close to darkness, and freezing!  I was really in the mood for Greek, but my budget won’t allow it for a while.  This experience was better- people clapped, sang and cheered along with the movie! It was 104° outside, so there wasn't a better place to be.  Most importantly, good friends really make a difference.  These are the people we keep in our lives by choice.  

 

I’ve been saving money for a while for a trip to Europe, but now that money is being used to pay medical bills.  I know I will take the trip some day, but I’ve learned to not attach dates to dreams and goals because priorities change.   Right now my mind is here, there, and everywhere. 

 

Life is not about the cards we are dealt, but it’s how we play them. 

Until we meet again.

posted by Amberley at August 10, 2008 05:50 | link | comments (4)

All the things that should remain unsaid. A little of my B type personality in a dot.com universe.


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