from Karmaville

Tuesday, 30 October 2007

An annoying sign of the times

Before we know it kids will be trick-or-treating on the 4th of July wearing Easter bunny suits. (got it via email and thought of sharing.)

Amberley Amberley 22:40
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Sunday, 28 October 2007

Conversations with myself

Warning! Since I’ll be absent for a while, I’m writing a long post.

There are phases of the moon that remind me of some careless days from my childhood. The combination of the full moon and Halloween also remind me of my trick-or-treating as a child. I was always a witch, except for the only time I went as Strawberry Shortcake. I remember the plastic mask and the sticky plastic dress that looked like a white trash bag with painted berries on it. Trendy isn’t? When those masks were designed someone forgot to add holes to breathe. Oh yeah, I was also a gypsy once and I think that was my better disguise. I can’t remember all the details just that a bunch of kids went around the neighborhood and were always curious as to why some people never gave us candy. (Adventists) One time we attended a party and I won the bobbing for apples contest and won a big bag of candy. I guess I should add that talent/accomplishment to my resume…? Although I am older, times don’t change. Yep, you guessed it! I will be dressed as a witch for work. Next thing we know, Mr. Fair and Balanced from Fox News will be there with cameras taking pictures at our secular/ festive public school.

I’ve been gone due to my full-time thankless job. Have I mentioned that the boss left me in charge of a state-mandated exam and being “in- charge” means to individually test 30 + kids, and take them out of class and receiving attitude from them? This caused to go on a diet of chocolate cake, cookies, and Excedrin!!!!! I can’t even begin to write down all my emotions and thoughts of “defeat.” The deadlines almost became deadly. I’ve even had nightmare about all the reports I had to turn in last week. Oh-my-gahd! Thank heaven that is over.

Another reason for my partial absence has been the rigorous courses I’m taking at the time. On a good day I arrive home after 10:30 pm. The other night it was so bad, that when I filled up my gas tank around the time mentioned above, I got greasy chicken from the gas station. I felt so pathetic, that I began to cry. This made things worst, b/c my tears caused my makeup to run and I looked like a nerd on acid. I was hungry, craving my mother’s Goulash, tired, and sleepy, in need of a shower and a bed. Luckily and unfortunately, I was the only witness to that scene. Mom always said that she wanted me to go to college and never imagined that I wouldn’t know where to stop. My mother says a lot of things to me, and she is wrong most of the time. When I have an independent idea she claims that I have been brain washed by everyone, and seems to be skeptical of me having ideas against her beliefs. Somehow I managed to do what I wanted to do- like freewill, but with A LOT of criticism. She still argues with me when I tell her that I hate cauliflower. Ugh!

I believe in music therapy. “Eye of the Tiger” played on the radio on my way to work the other day- I had it as loud as I wanted it as my mood mellowed, and it made me believe I would be like Rocky. (LOL) The little old couple who could barely see over their ‘83 Cadillac Seville smiled at my antics behind the wheel as I sang at the top of my lungs. Good times, good times. Later, Poison’s “Talk Dirty to Me” and AM karaoke had to stop b/c I had reached my destination: work.

I love music above anything else. As a child I took piano lessons and was in the choir from grades K-9^th. Now I can’t carry a tune if my life depended on it and the only ivories I’ve seen are the bars of soap in the bathroom. What I love is to listen and to only take part of it by being a spectator. (I haven’t been to a concert in about 4 months (The Smithereens), and before that it had been a year.)

Sometimes I wonder if it is telepathy or tele-pathetic? For me there’s no greater joy than to drive on lonely roads (after 10pm all roads are lonely) as I listen to music. I drive by the mountains made of concrete and glass, the semi-lighted streets, and the party inside of me. From time to time a thought from a former friend, foe, love, or whoever pops-up and more often than not, a song comes on the radio to re-enforce my memories and the sentiment of the time. Pet Shop Boys version of “You’re Always on My Mind” reminds me of the first time I went to a club that no longer exists (Retrocadia) b/c it burned to the ground. “My Girl” by The Temptations reminds me of my first kiss. As I remember correctly, it (the film with that name) was playing on TV that afternoon. “I’ll Stand by You” by The Pretenders brings backs images of my BFF who is now far and away from me. I own a lot of classical music, but the emotions they evoke are even more personal and private.

Who knows when I'll be back, hopefully before Christmas.

Peace and Love,

Amberley

P.S.

Where have I been that I didn’t know the term “mo’nonymous” replaced “unlogged visitor?” Geech! I’ve really been gone from the community, and I won’t be surprised if I was asked to turn-in my member card.

P.P.S

Next post will be about the singular sensation of being single

Amberley Amberley 07:40
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Wednesday, 17 October 2007

Ice, Ice...I sang what?

listening to ice, ice, baby put me in a good mood just before the first mid-term of the semester. then i thought that i should be arrested for even remembering the lyrics to that song.

....oh, yeah, almost forgot to mention that i have changed my career plans again to speech pathology.

hopefully i'll be able to post pics soon of the wonderful weather with all its autumn hues and fog. :-) (doing happy Snoopy dance)

I am a woman who enjoys herself very much; sometimes I lose, sometimes I win. Mata Hari

Amberley Amberley 00:27
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Thursday, 11 October 2007

an opinion? who? me? Yes!!!

Warning! Strong opinions ahead!!!!

Today we had a bunch of pressed suits talk to us about the content we can post on our personal pages outside from work. Enuf said, other than words are meaningless and forgettable until you post them on the internet. (part of Depeche Mode lyric)

I will proceed to post mostly about life and not work:

I do most of my great thinking in the shower when I’m washing my hair, just before falling asleep, or when I awake. (if any great thinking occurs in other times is by pure coincidence.) So it hit me this morning as I was washing my hair- I am burning myself up, both at work, and with my studies. I always say that an “A” is not important, but that is my aim, even when many times I fall short. So from now on I’ll try to take it easy and relax.

Another great thought that haunts and hunts me is the fact that I despise the geographical city and state I live in. Sure, it’s very nice and convenient, but at what cost? Some people say that no matter where we live our problems will follow us because they live in ourselves. There is a fine white chalk line between chaos and civilization and I live on it. There’s no doubt that the problems exist externally.

Who doesn’t love to live in a state surrounded with high SUV’s outfitted for an African Safari? Or what about arriving each day to work and finding out that the main mode of transportation of many16 year olds is a car worth 3-4 times my annual salary?

How about the fact that the greenery in the area has been drown-out of the eyes of nature lovers for the sake of building over sized Mc Mansions with perfect rooms in under size lots? And the state of mind the dwellers of these wooden castles who live beyond their means? Of course, they can find comfort in their mega churches where Big Jesus is rumored to make appearances. You can hear all about it from the fried-hair blondes with big fake boobs who wear their big crosses around their necks. They resemble each other and it’s hard to tell them apart. But sure know how to get noticed on sports events.

Sure, the image of Jesus is everything, but first come their personal and individual image. Big egos everywhere, people taking themselves too seriously, and soon the only Jesus they know is the guy who does their lawn in the heat for wages that can be compared to modern-day slavery.

What else can we expect? Their minds are like the hot spots they frequent: vacuous, under lit, sonorous, and garish lairs.

And to think that I am an optimist!

Now i must go and study for my 3 hour timed exam. woo-hoo!

The Minx *.*

P.S. these thoughts are unedited, so i apologize for any grammar mistakes.

These views do not reflect those of any previous, present or future employers.

Amberley Amberley 00:07
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Friday, 05 October 2007

lunch for one, and other things

Which is worst?

A. To go out to lunch all by yourself.

B. Spend over $10 on lunch

C. Be surrounded by men and no one holds the door open for you

D. All of the above

I visited Rusty's page and saw her new avatar, and that inspired me to change mine to. I love Halloween very much, perhaps more now than in my childhood.

And to those waiting to hear about my lack of love life:

I didn’t have to call him bc he called first. We went out on a 5 hour date which turned out to be disastrous! I guess the worst point of the evening was when his almost new car was towed away and scratched in the process. We did laugh about it, but agreed that it’s better if we go our separate ways. In homage to that unforgettable evening (for all the wrong reasons) I dedicate this song and post this cheesy video.

I just keep my smile on